North Herts League Match Report

Offley & Stopsley II's 154-8 Vs Caddington 84 all out ; 20th June

OSCC II's won by 70 runs

As the Offley 2nd XI rolled up at Caddington to continue a season that has seen more success than Same :Difference in the charts, confidence was high and another victory seemed as predictable as Simon Cowell insulting an American Idol contestant and flirting with Paula Abdul. However, by the end of the day it was Offley 2nd XI that would have the X-Factor.

With Offley 2nd XI apparently having a strong batting line up on the day, they were provided with the opportunity by Captain Austin to set a target for Caddington to chase. Ward and Chamberlain opened and survived the opening over's, knocking off the loose balls, before Chamberlain gave his wicket away. Williams strolled in score 3, which is about the number of hours a Britney Spears marriage lasts before being bowled, bringing D.Sale to the crease. Ward followed soon after bringing Hum in to bat with Offley 2nd XI looked in trouble.

However, with Hum and D.Sale coming to the crease, a story of success unmatched since Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee were stars of Saturday night TV was born. Both players putting in stunning performances as they punched the ball around the pitch, played sparkling shots over the boundaries with the occasional swipe through mid-air to no-one. The cricket was as erotic as a American Teen popstars concert, yet as effective as the German progression through Czechoslovakia. Hum and D.Sale had placed Offley 2nd XI in a position to set Caddington a challenging target.

Both batsman fell short of there 50's. Hum having to walk back for 31, before D.Sale walked in with the swagger of Kris Akabusi following a magical 45 soon after.

With a robust innings from Austin leading the tail, and Law coming in to make an appearance that had everyone wondering if we had Devon Malcolm in the team, Caddington could only take the wicket of Austin, Allowing Freedman loose on the ineffective Caddington attack scoring 10.

Offley 2nd XI has put up the substantial score of 154 for Caddinton to chase.

Ward opened the bowling for Offley 2nd XI, and apart from the occasional wayward ball kept the bowling tight, Williams achieved the same taking the 2 opening wickets and ensuring that the #4 batsman left the pitch doing Joe Pasquale impressions.

It was onto Wardley to provide the next breakthrough for Offley 2nd XI, in his first over taking out the Beddard, and ensuring that the return of Joe Pasquale was short lived. Hum built on his batting performance and provided a couple of effective over's, climaxing in a stumping by Austin behind the wickets and the Lawman climbing over fences... Offley 2nd XI were through the top order and in line for victory.

It was time to release the 'long arm of the Law'. The bowling change proved inspired with Law going through the batting Caddington middle order like a WAG through a football team, completing a 4 wicket spell with the wicket of a Wayne Rooney look-a-like, showing Rooney's are as effective at hitting runs as scoring goals in a World Cup. At the other end the 'King of Spin' Wayne Cutts came on only for balls to fall everywhere but into the hands of fielders and fail to find any wickets.

D.Sale bowled from the other end, and proved not to be the all-rounder everyone was expecting, as balls were banished through covers as the speed that Michelle McManus takes to eat lunch, and through the Hum's hands and legs like an English goalkeeper attempting to stop a football.

However, the final wicket went down on a confusing run out and Offley 2nd XI has achieved another victory by 70 runs.

By the end of the day Offley 2nd XI would have past the season total of wins in the 2009 season, and maintain there unbeaten run, which is looking like it may stretch on for as long as Bruce Forsyth's career on current form.